| TN-94 (II) |
A 41 year-old woman recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder which keeps her from working. [The author's household includes herself and her 16 year-old son.] 1. HOUSEHOLD SUPPORT Interviewer: Okay, the first subject we’re going to talk about is household support. First tell me how you maintain your household on a day-to-day basis, in regard to putting food on the table, and the resources you have to do that? Author: The resources I have, I’m getting food stamps, I think it's 246 or 256 a month. And uh, that’s all I get, uh as far as food. Interviewer: And what type of resources to you use to pay the rent and pay your utilities? Author: This is my dad’s house, so right now I’m not having to pay no rent, 'til I can get on my feet. Um, my soon to be ex-husband’s dad is uh, making utility payments for me. Interviewer: Directly to the utility company? Author: Yeah. Uh-huh. Interviewer: And, do you receive any other assistance in paying bills? Author: Just through the Families First, that $142 a month, that’s it. Interviewer: But this, as you said, is your father-in-law’s home? Author: No, it’s my father’s home. Interviewer: It’s your father’s home. And does he live here as well? Author: No. Interviewer: Okay. Um, do you find that you have enough time to supervise your child in your current situation? Author: Well, he works, so he goes to school and uh, he’s getting at that age where it’s kinda hard to handle him, or whatever, but I’m doing the best I can with him. Interviewer: Do you receive any other assistance in parenting in terms of you know, friends, relatives, or agencies? Author: No. I’ve talked to Carlos about what’s been going on with my son and he’s giving me some tips about how to handle him. Interviewer: And Carlos is? Author: My family service counselor. Interviewer: What type of tips is he— Author: Uh, my son, he doesn’t want to mind me about taking trash out, uh, cleaning up his room, feeding the dogs outside or whatever, and he [Carlos] told me that if I couldn’t get anything else to work, he’s got an X-Box game in there, I can pull the plug on the wire on it and take it and say, “when you get that done, you can have it back.” [Laughs]. And he said he went through that as a teenager too, rebelled, or whatever, and he said that’s about the only way you can get them to listen. Interviewer: Would you say that compared to two years ago, supporting your household is much harder, harder, unchanged, easier, or much easier? Author: Much harder. Interviewer: Why’s that? Author: I haven’t got my husband here. I’m a single parent now. Interviewer: What happened in these last two years, specifically, with your husband? Author: Uh, he left here last April or May. Around May he tried to kill hisself with my son here, and I wasn’t here at the time. Took 'ay an overdose of high blood pressure pills. Ended up in, uh, Murfreesboro hospital. Cardiac intensive care unit. I made him stay away from…[unintelligible] whatever. And uh, he had gotten on crack and uh alcohol real bad. I didn’t want him around. And he end up, uh, robbing Sir Pizza, and uh, he’s incarcerated right now. So I’m not getting no child support from him. Compared to two years ago, supporting my household today is much harder. 2. CHILD WELL-BEING Interviewer: We’ve covered this a little bit but the next subject is child well being. Tell me first about your son’s physical health. Author: Um, when his dad was here his blood pressure was up. But, uh, since he’s been gone, uh, they’ve put him on a sodium restricted diet, he’s lost weight, his blood pressure’s fine now, and they took 'ay him off blood pressure medicine. So I guess with us fussin' and fightin' all the time it affected him. Interviewer: With you and your husband fighting a lot? Author: Mm-hmm. Interviewer: But he has improved, you think? Author: Oh yeah, because the last two times he’s been to the doctor his blood pressure was normal. Interviewer: What about his safety in this neighborhood and his school, do you feel like it's a good place to grow up? Author: This neighborhood, I feel like he’s safe here. Um, I kinda worry about the school at Oakland because I’ve heard things over there about drugs and stuff over there. Uh, luckily, he’s taking college prep courses so he don’t see a lot stuff that other kids do, that I’ve heard about or whatever. So, I’m hoping since he’s staying in the college prep courses he won’t see a lot of it. They said that uh, what is that, said that drug ecstasy is going around real bad over at Oakland, so they fight a lot over there but he hasn’t seen that many fights, he said, 'cause he’s in different classes or whatever, and I don’t know if lower classes— Interviewer: So he’s, tell me about his academic performance in school. Author: He’s taking all honors courses. He’s wanting to go to MTSU. Interviewer: And what year is he in school now? Author: He’s in 11th grade. Interviewer: And so, does he have behavior problems at school, or— Author: No. It’s just getting him to do something around here. Interviewer: Compared to two years ago, would you say the general well being of your son is much worse, worse, unchanged, better, or much better? Author: Much better. Interviewer: And again that’s due to— Author: His dad not being here. Compared to two years ago, the general well-being of my child is much better. 3. BASIC NEEDS Interviewer: The next topic we’re going to cover is basic needs. Um, we covered some of this already, but tell me about how well you’re able to meet your basic needs, first in terms of food. Author: Um, I try to get everything that’s on sale. Stretch it as far as I can, but it seems like always at the end of the month, uh, I’m having to get into my Families First check to help cover for food because it’s not enough. I mean I got an almost 17 year-old son, he’s 6’2”, weighs 179 pounds, you know it takes a lot of food for a kid, a growing kid or whatever. So, I’m doing the best I can but it seems like it’s just not good enough [chuckles]. Interviewer: And uh, how about clothing? Do you feel like your resources are there to clothe you— Author: Mm-mm [no]. Uh, I get what I can. A lot of times I have to go to the thrift store to get stuff or whatever because I can’t afford to go out and buy new stuff. But uh, that’s with me. You know with him I have to go and buy certain things because they get made fun of at school, you know, if they don’t wear certain things. Sometimes I wish they’d go to uniforms so I wouldn’t have to worry about it. Interviewer: How about medical care? Author: Uh, we’re on TennCare. Interviewer: How’s that worked out for you? Author: It’s worked out real good. Interviewer: Are there things specifically that really interfere with helping you make ends meet? Author: Um, what do you mean by that? Interviewer: Is it just a question of not having enough cash on hand, or— Author: Yeah. I mean, gosh the gas prices have gone up sky high and I’ve got a big car. I call it a tank out there, so [laughs] it takes a lot to fill it up or whatever. Um, I carry him back and forth to school in the mornings and I carry him to work. Sometimes he drives to work but he don’t like driving that car that much because it’s so big or whatever. So. Interviewer: Are there any other, uh resources that you use to help meet your basic needs in terms of food banks, or anything like that? Author: I haven’t been there in a long time. One of the last times I was there they kinda put me down because I didn’t have a job and I was going through a lot. I mean I’m seeing a psychiatrist, I’m seeing a therapist, and uh, I don’t guess they understood that and they made me feel like I was just so tall [motions low to the ground] so I have not been back. But uh, I did go to Mid-Cumberland, uh, this last time and got help with the gas bill. Which helped my father-in-law or whatever 'cause I think they give me $250 to uh, to uh, help with the gas or whatever. 'Cause I got gas heat. Interviewer: Because your father-in-law had been paying the utilities, but he was short himself at that time? Author: No, he’s not short. He’s just, he’s helping me with that, it’s just that I uh, I don’t want to be dependent on him. I want to get away from that. I want—especially with me and my husband going through a divorce. I wanna get completely away from being dependent on him for anything. Interviewer: Compared to two years ago, would you say your family’s ability to meet its basic needs is much worse, worse, unchanged, better, or much better? Author: Much worse. Interviewer: And that’s due to your husband not being in the household, with his income? Author: Yeah. Well you see if he was out [of jail] and we was divorced, I could still get child support. See I can’t get child support now. They said it’d be uh, probably this time next year before he would get out for parole. So my son’ll be almost 18 by then, so, it’s not gonna help me. Compared to two years ago, my family's ability to meet its basic needs is much worse. 4. HOUSING Interviewer: The next topic we’re going to talk about is housing. How well does your current housing meet your family’s needs? Author: Real well. I mean, my son’s got his own bedroom. I’ve got my own bedroom. We’ve got an extra bedroom, you know, [if] we’ve got company that comes or whatever, so. Interviewer: And talk about its physical condition. It’s in good shape? Author: Uh, pretty well. Um, certain spots—I’ve been getting kinda mold in here and I don’t know what’s causing it or whatever. I had to have the flooring replaced in the kitchen and in both bathrooms 'cause it had black mold up underneath it so, other than that, I guess it’s okay. Interviewer: Tell me about how safe the neighborhood is. Author: Haven’t never had no problems with this neighborhood out here. Uh, it’s always been real quiet and everything, so I feel comfortable out here. Interviewer: Is it a convenient place, in terms of getting where you need to get? Author: Yes. It’s not very far from where he gores to school at or anything. He goes to Oakland, and it’s probably two or three miles from Oakland. Interviewer: And you do have transportation, so that’s not a problem, getting where you need to get? Author: Yeah, I’ve got a car. Well, it’s, I’ve got a car and I’m giving it to my son and he’s having the motor rebuilt on it, it’s a Cutlass. So he’ll have transportation. So he can go back and forth so I won’t have to worry about it. The car I’m driving out there belongs to my husband’s, uh dad, which was his grand-dad’s, late grand-dad’s, 'cause he passed away. They’re letting me use it. Interviewer: Compared to two years ago, would you say your housing is much worse, worse, unchanged, better, or much better? Author: Uh, unchanged. Interviewer: When your husband was in the house, this was still your home, is that right? Author: Uh-huh. Compared to two years ago, my housing was unchanged. 5. EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING Interviewer: The next topic we’re going to cover is emotional well-being. Um, if you could just talk about the feelings that you’ve been experiencing the most lately. Author: The last two days I’ve had two panic attacks back-to-back. And I don’t, uh, well my therapist here in town, she uh, got killed, it was in February. And uh, I don’t know if you’ve seen it on TV or not, but she got shot in the back. Her uh, fiancée was a police office here in town. And they said it was robbery, uh, it was supposed to have been a robbery. It was a black boy 16 years-old, his friends put him up to goin' robbing somebody to get drugs, I mean money for drugs. She had left the apartment, went out to get her vacuum cleaner and come back in. And um, was coming back in, and he shot her in the back, I guess to rob her, 'cause she only had 35 cents in change on her and had her jewelry on her and he didn’t take anything. But they caught him. And uh, I’d been seeing her for two years because a lot had been going on between me and my husband. And um, it just put me in a state of shock. For a whole week I just lay on the couch and just bawled. 'Cause I just told her everything. You know. Now I’ve had to start going to a new therapist in there, they’re keeping the place open, but it’s like having to start all over again. Interviewer: Um, you said you were selling Avon. How does that, how does you emotional well-being affect how you work, and how much you’re able to work? Author: Well with Avon, if I’m not feeling good that day you know I can pick my own hours, when I can drop stuff off and everything so it doesn’t affect me. Uh, last time I tried to work somewhere, public work, I worked at Wal-Mart during Christmas rush. And they made me quit because I was having panic attacks real bad; they had me on the cash register. And they didn’t know what was going on with me, I had a holter[?] monitor on me because my heart would race, it would feel like was kept beating [?] and they sent me to cardiologists and everything. But they diagnosed me as bipolar and having panic attacks or whatever. So, with the Avon, I can, if I’m not feeling good, I mean I can go in, give them the order, if I’m not feeling good I can get out. I don’t have to be staying right— Interviewer: Tell me about how your emotions lately have affected your parenting. Author: Um, I’ve been on edge a lot so I guess I scream a lot when I shouldn’t, 'cause my son has brought it up to me that I get a little emotional and that if he don’t do what he’s supposed to do when I want him to do it, I start screaming [laughs]. Interviewer: But do you feel like your emotions affect any other part of your life? Author: Uh, yes, uh, I feel like if what was going on now was better I could do maybe a part time job besides the Avon—but Dr. Mudumbi, which is my psychiatrist, has told me at this time he did not think I could handle a job. But with the Avon with me, you know, setting my own hours you know, come and go as I please, and not have somebody I’m working up under, or whatever, he thought I could do that at this time. Interviewer: Compared to two years ago, would you say your emotional well-being is much worse, worse, unchanged, better, or much better? Author: Um, compared to two years ago? Um, I thought I was doing better until this last week and I started having those panic attacks again so I don’t know what to say about that. Um, I was so bad when it first started, they had to put me on Lithium and I hated being on that. But it’s like now, I have problems sleeping at night, they got me on Trazedone to sleep. And when you get on that and you take it, you stay pretty groggy until about 11 o’clock the next day. And um, so I guess uh, I guess it’s a little better, not a whole lot better, a little better than what it was before, so. Compared to two years ago, my emotional well-being better [answer unclear from text]. 6. EMPLOYMENT Interviewer: Tell me a little bit more about the work you do for Avon, and how that works out for you. Author: Well, it’s my own business. Uh, I haven’t got no boss or anything. I order my brochures, I give them out to customers, um, they call me, they place their orders, um, I fill out a purchase order, I send it in, for stuff that they want, and I get it back. And I go through it and bag everything and check off, I make sure they’ve got everything in their bags and put samples in there and uh, of course, I have to order my own brochures, my own samples and my own bags to put stuff in or whatever. But I love doing it because I’ve always thought that I would like to work either in a clothing store or something to do with makeup. I always wanted my own business and uh, I have talked to my district manager and she said I’m about where I should be at this point and if uh I keep continuing, that in the future I might be able to make it a full-time job or whatever. It’s just, she says getting out there, getting people knowing that you sell the Avon, she said eventually you'll have people calling you and you won’t have to be calling them to get people or whatever, it’s just you have to put a lot of work in it to be…[unintelligible]. Interviewer: Is the income steady at the present time, or is it a predictable amount each month? Author: Uh, it’s, it’s pretty steady right now. Uh, I mean I don’t get the same every time or whatever. Sometimes they may not have as many sales. I don’t get uh, as many people buying or whatever. But when they have good sales I have pretty steady income coming in. Interviewer: And I assume because it’s self-employment that you don’t have any benefits of any kind through the company. Author: No, no. Interviewer: Um, compared to two years ago, would you say the wages and benefits you earn through working are much worse, worse, unchanged, better, or much better? Author: Much better because two years ago I wasn’t working at all [laughs]. Compared to two years ago, the wages and benefits of the job I have now are much better. 7. FAMILY SERVICE COUNSELING Interviewer: The last topic we’re going to cover is Family Services Counseling. Just tell me what, if anything, has changed for you as a result of your involvement with Family Services Counseling. Author: Um, what do you mean has changed? Interviewer: Helped, hurt, um— Author: They got me in that welfare back to work program and uh some of the girls up there, they’ve been ordering Avon from me. Uh, kinda giving me ideals about what I can do or whatever. Family Services Counseling, Eric and Carlos, have given me quite a few, uh, pointers, stuff I could do or whatever that’s helped me out a lot. I know when my son started school, I was in need of school supplies, I had not money to get it, and they called some church program here in town and he got a free backpack and pencils and notebookay paper and all that so I got help that way. Interviewer: So they helped you with resources, to help you out—how about emotionally and coping? Author: Yeah, I’ve talked a lot in there about what’s been going on. Of course they, [I] haven’t been going to them as long as I’ve had my therapist so they don’t know everything yet, you can only say so much per session or whatever. But uh, they’re getting there, figuring out what’s going on between my husband. I know I’ve talked to Carlos and he said I shouldn’t be talking to him 'cause, uh, unless my son, my husband has got a habit of wanting to call out here talk to my son, then he wants my son to put me on the line. And uh, I don’t like having to talk to him or whatever. But I do anyways because my son’s standing there, you know. And um he told me I’m just gonna have to sit him down one day and talk to him and tell him just to quit calling unless it’s just about my son or about questions about my son or whatever because he gets me upset a lot on the phone. We get in fights on the phone still, so. Interviewer: Tell me a little bit about that welfare to work program they put you in. How did that come about? Author: Uh, they said that I had to go to some type of class or go through them or something to be able to stay in the Families First program. And um, they told me that they, uh, it’s kinda hard for me to keep up with my income through Avon so they wanted me to start writing down what I supposed to make each month, then deduct the brochures, the gas, and all that there so I could know exactly how much I’ll be making or whatever. Um, but no, I go up there and we talk a little bit and they ask me how my Avon’s going, if it’s doing better, if I’ve got new clients, and um, they just ask me general questions or whatever. I have to sign a paper showing I’ve come up there or whatever. Interviewer: How often is that? Author: Well, since one of them’s ordering Avon from me, every two weeks, I go up there about every two weeks [laughs]. Interviewer: Is there anything else you’d like to add about Family Services Counseling, and how that’s affected you? Author: They’ve been real supportive because I called Carlos, yeah Carlos, I called him when Kristen died. And uh, he was wanting me to come in right away and I was so upset I couldn’t even drive to go over there. But uh, he told me he really thought I needed to come in and have someone to talk to because at the time even the counselors there couldn’t even talk to nobody because they were so upset and all that. But I did go in and see him one or two times before I started getting back over there at pathways. But uh, he was real supportive, and uh, he said he knew that I’d been seeing Kristen for a long time and she was like a friend to me so I unloaded everything to her or whatever and had a hard time going back in there the first time because I could see her, I could almost see her walking down the hall. She—will never be able to lookay at a wolf again because she was into wolves and Indian pottery. She had her whole office done in wolves and stuff so, I won’t never be able to lookay at anything like that again without thinking about her. But uh, he, he was really supportive about that. He was real worried about me. Matter of fact he called Stephanie and told her that they needed to get me in as soon as possible, that I was holdin' up pretty well but needed to be seen by somebody. Interviewer: Stephanie worked with Kristen? Author: Mm-hmm. Interviewer: If there isn’t any other, any thing else you’d like to say, I don’t have any more questions. Any thing else you’d like to add? Author: No. 8. BASIC FACTS Your community or neighborhood of residence: Murfreesboro Gender: Female Last year of school completed: 12th grade GED: Race: White Ethnicity: Does your partner, spouse, or co-parent live in the household? No Do you currently receive any cash public assistance? Yes Manner in which story was originally given: Tape recorded |
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