A 51 year-old woman who is homeless and living on a meager income earned substitute teaching in the El Paso area.

[Interviewer reads the instructions]

Interviewer: Okay, our first question is regarding the household support. How do you maintain your household on a day-to-day basis? Describe the resources you use to make the household run and how you supervise the children, including any assistance from outside your circle of family and friends.

Author: Okay, when I substitute, I make $45.00 a day. I don't substitute everyday. I uh, substitute when I'm called, uh, when I don't have a migraine headache or when, uh, stress does not got me to the point that I can't, you know, get up and punch in for the day. Uh, recently I had a, uh, um, took a chance at a full-time job and half of it was in Las Cruces and half of it was in Sunland Park and I kind of started back and forth and it was a, hum, and it was things that I used to do that I can't do now because I just can't expect the same things of myself that I used to before. When I lost my full time job, I went back to $45.00 a day before that I worked more than three days a week. I get, um, I go to Texas Tech, and I go to Thomason, and I, um, get my medication at Thomason. I fill my prescription at Thomason every, um, month. Also I, umm, belong to Life Management and the state of Texas pays my, umm, prescription for that. Um, so I basically make an $80, uh, payment to my storage shed and about a $49 payment to my, um, insurance and I'm house sitting right now, so that's why I'm eating and I, umm, usually end up with, uh, gas money. I'm substituting and I usually substitute two days a week. Three days out of the week, I substitute at the most. I don't buy anything but gas, pay for my storage and my, um, insurance.

Interviewer: And your children, um, you said that they're independent?

Author: Yes, they're independent. Yeah, their father is paying for them to go to school.

Interviewer: Next question is, how much time you have to supervise your children?

Author: Doesn't apply, doesn't apply.

Interviewer: Other resources that help in parenting your children?

Author: No other resources. I haven't had health insurance in about, uh, 14 years, and so I'm very desperate to see a dentist. And I, uh, had some problems with major depression and migraines and one triggers the other like the chicken or the egg thing; we don't know which one occurs first, so that, uh, that prevents me from holding down a full-time job. Uh, because there's days when I just can't cope.

Interviewer: All right, other resources that help in parenting you children; would not apply, right?

Author: Uh, no, my children take real good care of me [giggled]. I raised them very well and, uh-ha, did a good job and now they're taking real good care of me [giggled].

Interviewer: Uh, how about any assistance you receive from outside your circle of family or friends?

Author: None.

Interviewer: Okay, and the last question regarding this, is compared to two years ago, supporting my household today is? On a scale from 'A' to 'E,' much harder, harder, unchanged, easier or much easier?

Author: Much harder.

Compared to two years ago, supporting my household today is much harder.

Interviewer: Okay moving on to the next one. Um, this is also is regarding your children.

Author: Okay.

Interviewer: We'll just see whether it applies or not.

Author: Okay.

Interviewer: It says, 'How are your children in terms of their physical health, their safety, and their academics and behavior in school (or behavior in day care)?' Whichever one applies.

Author: Okay, both of my children are in college. My son, Nicholas has a 3.85 grade point average and he's assistant manager of a, uh, store where they sell dry food and all that stuff, you know. In Lubbock, and uh, he goes to school full-time and, uh, his dad pays for his tuition, his car and insurance. And my daughter is in a fraternity and my daughter has a 4.0 and this is her freshmen year, and uh, she's in a sorority and she's moving back to El Paso to work for the summer and then she's going to Italy to go to school next year. And they're very, umm, outgoing, self-sufficient [laughed]. I sound like a true mother don't I?

Interviewer: How about their physical health?

Author: Um, [giggled] that's funny, you know, I've always been, uh, it's kind of like I stepped out of one lifestyle into another. One called poverty but, uh, I had both of their appendices out, uh, I mean both of their tonsils out; I had, uh, both of their third molars out. I had both of their braces done before they were in eighth grade because I used to work for a dentist that turned into an orthodontist, and they believe earlier now—they believe doing teeth earlier, before puberty, that way you don't have to have a hard time because they're not brushing their teeth. They do it because it's fun, so um, I think they have a very good outlook on health and how important it is to stay healthy.

Interviewer: How about their safety?

Author: Well, my daughter is going to Italy, how do you think I fell about that [laughed]? Um, my son finally quit getting tickets, so I think he's okay in that respect. My daughter never got, um, driving tickets and I think they're both, um—they tend to look at things first and then do them, rather than to jump right in, so that kind of puts you on a different safety level.

Interviewer: Okay, you've already talked about academic performance in school, is there anything else you would like to add?

Author: Uh, yeah, my son did have, um, oratory [auditory?] translating problems that we diagnosed. I had them in a Montessori school when they were little, and when he was four and when it was time to learn his sounds phonetically, we picked up that. In a Montessori environment, you select your work, but your work that you're given in class, your work that you're given to select, uh, is monitored by what to select by age appropriateness. You know, it's [a] rather structured, uh, uh, area and he did not want to work on his, um, phonics at all and so we ended up with at a speech pathologist. And sure enough, after we found out and then now that he's in college, he finally got a diagnosis when he was a sophomore, that he has, um, um, ADD, attention deficit disorder, but not the hyper, not with the hyper part. He's distracted by everything that's going on in this room. He's distracted by the sunlight that's over there and, um, but he's not, um, fidgeting. You know, um, he's not moving all the time. So, he has some of the problems that a child who has ADD does and some of them he doesn't. Because he grew up in a Montessori atmosphere, and everything is cognitive and so you do it when you're ready and so he was able to, um, finally pick up reading despite, you know, so he didn't have as easy a time in school as Jerelen did. She skipped kindergarten and half of pre-k [laughed]. She was in first grade 'cause she was five, I didn't need to have her at all. So it's just that you know the differences between the kids that you have, with the knowledge that I had in early childhood, I was able to help them with the problems they had to overcome. Hers was, um, fitting in, into a public school.

Interviewer: How about their behavior in school?

Author: Um, Nicholas used to get in trouble, cause he was talking and he used to use my own, uh, uh, language on me, 'well mom, I'm developing socially.' [laughed] Of course, he's only talking to girls, you know, um, you know how that goes and Jerelen [is] still very [quiet], reserved, um—she's not your perfect college student, but she kind of is, but she never got in trouble for anything, you know, except for getting her feelings hurt.

Interviewer: Okay, and um, the last question is the same as the other one, it says, um, compared to two years ago, the general well-being of my children is: much worse, worse, unchanged, better, or much better?

Author: I think the general well-being of my children are, is much better than it was compared to two years ago because I was iller two years ago, a lot more ill, what happened to my English here? I'm glad you have to write this [laughed].

Compared to two years ago, the general well-being of my children is much better.

Interviewer: Okay, I'm gonna go into the third question here. How well is your household meeting its basic needs? Describe the things that affect your family's ability to meet its basic needs, including adequacy of earned income, public benefits you may use such as TANF, Medicaid, Food Stamps, um, Social Security, SSI.

Author: Um, I have an appointment on the 20^th of April with my case worker from, um, um, Life Management and she is going to focus the conversation, that's about an hour and a half with Social Security over the telephone, to try to instigate, um, my, um, psychiatrist has, um, gone ahead and listed me as capable of working, um, half a day, so that maybe I can get some assistance from Social Security. When you talk about what you need, and what you have, and what you don't have, um, if my children hadn't bought my shoes, I wouldn't have any shoes. Um, I get my hair permed only, only, when um, I have extra money, otherwise I just have to get it cut, so the fact [is] how my lack of money affects how I feel about myself and what I look like. I buy all my clothes at a second hand store, and I haven't bought any clothes in about two years, and um, I'm in need of clothes. I don't eat what I would like to eat. Um, right now I'm house sitting so I have a budget that I need to stay within and so I'm eating within that budget. So I do have food right now, but that's the only reason I have food right now. I tried to qualify for food stamps two years ago, three years ago maybe, and I was still married, was I? I can't remember if I was still married, but my car, my van, it's what threw me over the limit. It was, you know, three years newer than it is now and I had additional support and so I, now I could probably get food stamps if I tried.

Interviewer: Okay, what about as far as housing?

Author: Ha.

Interviewer: Housing?

Author: Um, I am, I am in a position to house sit, to be a nanny, to um, live in someone's very inexpensive converted garage apartment. Um, like housing for me, I'm looking at what I can afford would be, um, the very minimum. Again consider my income $45 times three days, times four, that'll give you what you live on for a month and you subtract my $80 and my $49, or $36 for insurance, I don't have anything left for housing. Either you eat, you have food or you buy gas, and if you don't buy gas, you don't go to work. You guys are college students; you should know some of that [laughed], right? Can I move in with one of you [laughed]?

Interviewer: What are some things that help your family meet its basic needs?

Author: Uh, um, I'm not afraid to, I guess I was for a while afraid to go out and say that I need help. I guess that's part of being a little bit, um, worried about yourself, emotionally, you know, but I've had some family services, and my therapist there, I've been going to for, uh, about two years now and she helps me a lot. My uh, other help from, uh, uh, my social worker that I have in the other program that I'm in and they help me a lot, you know, with things to try, like people to call.

Interviewer: Okay, what are some of the things that interfere with, uh, making ends meet?

Author: The fact that I can't count on a, uh, x amount of regular income from a, and the reason that I can't count [on] it is either because of my health, most of the time because of my health. I get stressed out, and then I get a migraine, and then about ten hours later I get another migraine, and that happens for about a week. Um, the more emotional work I do, on myself, for myself, the less headaches I have, the less stress, stressful I am, the more I can handle, but it still comes down to not being able to take care of myself. I've been married three times. First time I used to work two jobs, the second time I married someone who is sending both my children through college, buys them cars and pays their tuition and everything, and how can I complain? Um, that last time I was married, I um, my husband and I, our business went bankrupt and then we went bankrupt. It's hard for a relationship to go through that, plus with my, uh, depression and then the migraines start. It's kind of a package deal, you know, like I can't do. The more I try to do the less I end up accomplishing because I'm just asking too much of myself or not being realistic on what I tried to do. So that's what my goal is now, [it] is to try to be more realistic in what I tried to do and accomplish so I don't find myself in these things of a snowball of depression and migraines and not working and then financial problems, and no food and no gas (giggled).

Interviewer: Okay, um, the last question, compared to two years ago, my family's ability to meet its basic needs is: much worse, worse, unchanged, better, much better?

Author: Well, I can't really say my family because I don't have a family. You know, um, my parents are older, my dad's 89 and my mother's 81 and they have their money that they plan to live on and I try not to infringe on that, unless I absolutely have to, um, what was the question again?

Interviewer: Compared to two years ago, my family's ability to meet its basic needs is: much worse, worse, unchanged, better, much better?

Author: I would say, I'm a lot better off emotionally, which contributes to me being better off physically, but I think financially I'm worse off.

Interviewer: Okay, Liz will be asking you the next set of questions.

[The remainder of the this session was conducted by a second interviewer]

Compared to two years ago, my family's ability to meet its basic needs is better and worse.

Interviewer: How well is your housing meeting your family's needs? Describe how well it fits the size of your family, its physical condition, the safety of the neighborhood, and how convenient it is for work, school, child care and for visiting relatives.

Author: Okay, how do I answer that question? I have no house. I have no home. I have no ability to pay regular rent. My van, I can live in but now it has a hole on a window [laughs]—um, I don't have an issue with housing because I don't have any. Last summer, listen to this, last summer I was trying to work in a nursing home and I had been there a week and I had slipped and broke my right wrist and went and had it checked. A week later they x-rayed and had surgery pain, so of course I lost my job, which I only had for ten days anyway. I had to move home—oh, you can't live with your parents when you haven't lived with them since you were 19, you just can't. All of sudden I left home with a broken arm. I don't, school hadn't started yet so I couldn't sub, it was in July, school starts in August and we don't get our first paycheck until the middle of September. And—um—I have no house to live in [laughs]. Oh, I was really in bad shape. What was the question again?

Interviewer: How well is your housing meeting your needs right now where you are currently living? This includes the fit with the size of your family, physical condition, safety of the neighborhood, convenience for work, school, child care and for visiting relatives.

Author: Okay, I feel comfortable where I am staying right now because I am house sitting for a very good friend. I hope to be—um—renting, in exchange for her gallivanting around the country, her garage apartment. Okay, she's going to be gone so she's going to need somebody to be, [to] watch the house, her dog and her parrot. So in other words, I have to find a place where I can exchange my services for a place to live by either keeping children, house sitting or something like that. So right now what I'm looking at is a one-bedroom with a very large closet, a nice new bathroom and a kitchen sink with no refrigerator or a stove, but you know you can get by with that.

Interviewer: What about the safety of the neighborhood?

Author: Well, I thought it was very safe [laughs]. You know—um—right now I'm staying up there where the new loop cuts through and cuts out that's about above Doniphan and up into Santa Teresa. There are some apartments there and there's some older established housing additions and I'm staying in a house close to the road and you know, I don't worry about my windows or anything but the deal with my window was just some kids stupidity, running around. So I think I'm very safe right now. I feel safe.

Interviewer: How is it convenient for work?

Author: Um—it just so happens that the district I teach [in] most of the time is only two miles from where I am right now, convenient.

Interviewer: How is it convenient for visiting relatives?

Author: My parents live in the northeast so it's not that far.

Interviewer: Consider the following question and answer using the letter that best corresponds to your situation.

Compared to two years ago, my housing is much worse.

Interviewer: What feelings have you been experiencing the most lately? Describe how this influences your work and parenting, and whether you have sought help for any of these feelings.

Author: —Okay, I don't have a good background, as far as my childhood goes, but I have worked very hard. My children's father and I split up when my daughter was three and my son was six. I had been going to a therapist—um—for them—um—to help them through the problem [of] trying to live through two different households; one with one income and one with another income. One was very extreme and the other one was very extreme the other way. My kids, when they were with their dad, they had everything, when they came home with me, they had what I could give them, which were things they needed for school at the time. They were younger and they needed that more than they needed toys and all of those things, and um—what was the question again?

Interviewer: What are the feelings that you have been experiencing the most lately and how these feelings influence your work, parenting, and whether you have sought any help for any of these feelings?

Author: Oh—so I'm always trying to say that, okay, I'm a wreck now [laughs] except that I did make it through raising my kids and um—I worked through my problems, but I had a good child so my children may have a list of problems that is going to be different from the one I had. So that has made me a healthier person emotionally, getting rid of my childhood baggage 'cause the little child in you sometimes stays hurt for a long time so you have to work at fixing that little kid if there's something wrong with him.

Interviewer: How have these feelings influence[d] your work?

Author: Um—since I work with kids, I think I'm much more compassionate. I'm much more aware that a child is not, um—if they are really sensitive about something, like I can teach a bilingual class and never hurt anybody's feelings because I have one of the other kids translate to them because I can't speak any Spanish. And I need their help so they spend the whole day helping me and it works out just fine, so um—I think it's—what was the question again? This is not as easy as I thought it was going to be. I talk a lot don't I? It's a good thing you taped instead of wrote it.

Interviewer: How have your feelings influence[d] work?

Author: I think my feelings make me a better teacher and a better—. I try being sensitive.

Interviewer: How do these feelings influence your parenting?

Author: They influence my parenting greatly, because even though you had two children from the same gene pool, you end up with two children who got off from totally different buses, and you have to respect the fact that one may act one way and one may act the other way and that is just the way they are. Nicholas is going to be a junior, well this is his second year being a junior, and it's like potty training. When you graduate from college, who cares if you were a junior for two years, or when you are potty training, it took you an extra year to send the kid down the street. I mean that kind of make[s] me pay more attention to the things that are more important in life.

Interviewer: Have you sought help for any of these feelings?

Author: Yes, [laughs] I spend a period of about um—well, I've been in therapy with my kids from the time my daughter was three and she is now twenty, for her sake I guess we stopped going when she was about fifteen. I went like once a week and um—because the kids were going back and forth between two households and they had another stepmother and you know things were like the Cinderella story. When I realized that I couldn't wear my superwoman suit anymore, and take care of all my kids problems, solve all of their problems—um—get rid of their stepmother [laughs], work one or two jobs and think it's enough money—um—I realized that everything that happened to me was not always my fault and I didn't always have to fix it and I didn't always have control over it either and that was a great relief. I've come a long way.

Interviewer: Consider the following question and answer using the letter that best corresponds to your situation.

Compared to two years ago, my emotional well-being is much better.

Interviewer: Tell us about your current or last job. Describe the type of job, whether the wages, benefits, and hours are/were sufficient, and what kinds of training and advancements opportunities there are/were if any.

Author: Can I just fax you my resume [laughs]? Well, let's see, before I decided that things were so unbearable, I was office manager at a garden center, which is now closed and I also worked with my husband's family, which is another story. Before that, I was working at night and teaching at the school my children were going to. Before that—um—I worked for a dentist for three years before I got married the second time and I—I worked for El Paso's Piping Supply. I've always had opportunities to um—I've always had good opportunities. I don't consider myself full of misfortune. You know I've um—what I need right now is computer training real bad [laughs]. I can turn it on and turn it off and that's all I can do.

Interviewer: Were the wages, benefits and hours sufficient?

Author: You know, I just figured it out and it's been 14 years since I've had medical insurance. I have very limited medical care during that time. During that time, I spent almost two years in my room, in bed, to the point that I had to have someone to dress me, feed me, get me up to take a shower. If someone wouldn't of fed me, I wouldn't have eaten. So I came out from that—to going to get help for myself, psychological help for myself. I got some medication and that helped but then you have the side effects of that. You kind of have to become your own um—you have to get well enough to become your own um—an alert patient I guess you can say.

Interviewer: Were the wages and hours sufficient?

Author: You know I was looking at my social security printout the other day. When I was going through my divorce, my children's dad for two years, he um—you're not suppose to do this—he paid me my maintenance and child support through wages so it went through the social security that way and boy does my social security look good for about a two years and then it goes down. I have about seven years with no income. I haven't paid taxes on any income for seven years. That is shocking to me, that is totally shocking. I proceeded from a sufficient super person—to a little worm that was barely crawling along [laughs] making ends meet and I still sort of feel I'm doing that.

Interviewer: What about the kinds of training and advancement opportunities that exist or existed in the job, if any?

Author: Well, you know, like this last job that I had was such a disappointment. They needed someone to hit the ground running, okay. I wasn't quite there yet um—I thought I was going to make it because the Las Cruces office has like sixteen patients a day and the Sunland Park branch had like ten patients a day and they didn't have a computer yet. I figured, okay, they buy a computer and they, [the] guy that works in the computer would give hours of training so that way I can say I know how to work a computer. I thought, 'okay I only have ten patients I know how everything works, how everything goes through, I think I can handle ten patients.' Well, in two weeks they had like 30 patients and they still hadn't gotten the computer yet [laughs] but there wasn't any time to learn anything in the computer anyway. I have always tried to take advantage of every advancement [opportunity] I could in my job.

Interviewer: Consider the following questions and answer using the letter that best corresponds to your situation,

Compared to two years ago, the wages and benefits of the job I have now are unchanged.

Your community or neighborhood of residence: Santa Teresa

Gender: Female

Last year of school competed: 32 hours UTEP [University of Texas El Paso]

Race:

Ethnicity:

Does your partner, spouse or co-parent live in the household? No

Do you currently receive any cash public assistance (TANF)? No

Manner in which story was given: Tape recorded