A 42-year-old bartender home-schooling her son in El Paso, TX

Job Training
No, I haven't. Any job training I got was more on my own. I got in the welfare system when I got separated from my husband. I was ashamed and embarrassed because pretty much I had always been working. I had always worked since high school. When I had my son, I opened up a home day care, and I assumed that would be the route I would have for finances and taking care of myself. My son was picking up habits, even as a baby, bad habits I realized I needed to break! I couldn't be a mommy 24-7 and then take care of kids. It's been my experience and belief that kids just need a hint of a bad habit and they'll pick it up. Easier to develop good habits than to correct. When my son was young, I had jobs where I could take my son with me or work from home. I'd also work[ed] at a ballet studio for my son and myself to attend ballet classes. I picked up most of the job training on my own. I even took tarot card reading.

Have you received job training recently? No

Employment
I believe that my son comes first, that I feel I have to work around his needs. Bartending is not an end all, but it's a solution for me right now. If a job can work around my son's needs, then that's where I'll put my efforts. I'm lucky because I have my own home. That is the benefit of me waiting to have my own son. I think being a parent is the most important job, and I take it seriously. My life centers around him. I know that there's a time to cut strings when he's older. I hope that he'll be self-confident, with a positive outlook on life. I think my current pay level is $4.30 an hour plus tips. I work.. See this is what I think is weird about the system. Without a job, I had all these benefits, including food stamps. My case worker came and as soon as I got a job, my benefits were cut, which makes it hard. My current working hours are between five to seven hours a day, three times a week. I started working as a bartender since about June 10. But as I was saying before, the system can make it hard. I had to work seven days to cover another bartender's shift. This will affect my benefits, when I normally work three days a week. After my benefits have been cut, as a result of my one seven-day work week, they will be affected again. I will probably have to redo all the paperwork.

Have you gotten a new job, increased work hours or earnings in the recent past? Yes

Child Care
I only have to worry about child care every other weekend, because my son is with his father every other weekend. I try to get someone to come to the house or I have friends I'll leave him with when he's not with his father. I think the majority of "professional" child care providers have a lot of love, but in my snotty opinion, don't have enough education to care for children. I never met any one of these child care providers who were consistent. Now that he's mine, I wouldn't put him in that environment because it's boring. As far as paying for child care, it depends on who I get, but generally no. My mom has a house out of town and in town. When she is in town, she'll help me with child care also. Generally, my son doesn't have a problem with those people that babysit him.

Have you received child care assistance to help you get to work? No

Transportation
I've always had a car. The job I had before, it took 45 minutes [to get to work]. [That job] ended in December, although the job let me work a lot from home. My current job takes me between five to ten minutes to get to and from work, because it's five minutes away.

Do you have adequate transportation to get to and from work? Yes

Health
Physically, I think I'm in fairly good condition. But mentally, I've suffered with depression most of my life. I do consider myself artistic, and I wonder if that contributes to be overly sensitive, more sensitive than the average bear. I was on medication for depression, but I couldn't afford it. The pharmacist gave me the medicine that I still haven't been able to pay for. I am not currently on medication because I can't afford it. Although I am seeing a counselor that I seem to be able to touch more bases with. But I can't even afford to see a doctor, either [a] psychiatrist or physician. I came to this counselor because they expelled my son from school and wouldn't allow him back until I got counseling. I couldn't afford to do this. Good thing Family Services assisted me with this.

Do you and you family have a regular doctor who normally provides care? My son does, but I don't. I was grateful to see that he would have a stable pediatrician.

Health Care
My son is not a problem. He has Medicaid. I love his doctor. He's had dental work, and that was nice too because the first dentist I didn't like. He had a reaction to a drug they gave him to calm down. It was nice that I didn't have to continue with that dentist. This new dentist and his staff were real gentle and worked with him. I won't go to the doctor unless I have strep throat, and I'll go to a little clinic that charges $20 or something. I haven't had a check-up in years.

Do you now have health insurance of any kind (including Medicaid)? No, my son does.

Additional Information
I managed to [send] my son through Montessori school. It is a more roundabout concrete education. After that I home schooled him. He attended a Montessori school, but was kicked out because he wasn't Catholic. He received a scholarship for another Montessori school, which had been opened for five years. After him getting into trouble and the fact that there was a strong [educational background], I've decided to home school him now. Most of the teachers are too concerned with TAAS (Texas Assessment for Academic Skills Test) and are getting paid for head count. The school system is too concerned with this one test and not enough for actually educating the children. There are basics that need to be covered, providing them with what they need to know. They will branch out to their own ideas and pull to their interests, which makes them a better human. Schools don't emphasize self-confidence enough. There's too much labeling and not enough praise. Teachers are overload[ed] and [have] too much paperwork. If we treated teachers like lawyers, we’d [have] better teachers. I can do a better job of educating him.

Last Question
In the next year, I expect things for myself and my family to get much better.

Demographics
Author's community or neighborhood of residence: Canutillo [El Paso]
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Last year of school completed: Some college
Race: Hispanic
Number of children at home: 1
Household size: 1 Child; 1 Adult
Does Author's partner or spouse live in household? No
Author's gross cash earnings for previous calendar month: $356.00
Does author currently receive any cash public assistance or welfare? Yes, food stamps and Medicaid for son. [Note: Not cash assistance. -Ed.]
Manner: Tape recorded and transcribed